I've been avoiding you. Yes, you. A little to the left. Yeah you.
After my last post, I was pretty discouraged. Alot of you had very encouraging things to say though. And it helped...but only a tiny bit. Now there, there...it's not a reflection on you. It's a reflection on how I absorb things and how messed up I really am.
I'm still pretty discouraged. But I'm still working on my food choices and, for the most part, making good ones. I think what I have to work on next is my eating schedule and then exercise. I don't have time to eat breakfast until I get to work...so breakfast has to be something I can take with me. Lunch is ok because I can get a salad from the cafeteria. Dinner is a whole different animal. And not the tasty kind either.
I LOVE to cook. I love to make up my own recipes. And I'm actually pretty good at it too. The problem is I'm SO exhausted when I get home from work, I usually change into my PJ's and head right for the couch with no dinner at all. Unless its cereal or pizza.
I said I wasn't going to make excuses anymore, so I know this has a lot to do with habit and with laziness. But I'm not going to discount my health either--it's really hard when that big knit thyroid monster is punching your thyroid every day and causing you to want to sleep 23 out of 24 hours of the day.
I think maybe if I start to change my habits, the rest will slowly come. It's the same with exercise (what a damn dirty word that is). I know once I get to the gym I will start to feel better. It's just a matter of doing it.
The reason I haven't yet is because I am scared of failing. Every time I've done this in the past, I've done the diet and the exercise and thrown it all at myself on one day. ABRACADABRA!
And then what happens? The rabbit doesn't come out of the hat. The lady actually gets sawed in half. It's too much and I give up.
I don't want that to happen again so I'm hoping taking it in pieces will help. You know. Pieces. Like the lady that got sawed in half.
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I love this post girl. I love it b/c I know its truth. So many of us go through this when we try changing our habits. I have a bit of advice, but I ask you to take it with a grain of salt as I so don't have it all together myself. I find that making meals that I can box up and stick in my fridge for the week on Sunday night really helps me. That way, if its been a long day and the last thing I feel like doing is cooking; I can just reheat whatever I want that night and I'm good to go. Again, just a thought! Keep going girl...we WILL get there! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's a great idea. I really need to try that. I used to buy a bunch of veggies on Sundays and portion them up too so I could just grab a little baggie out of the fridge. I need to start doing that again too.
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole, I really relate to this post because I am scared of failing as well. It seems like there is so much to do if and if I am not perfect at all of it I'm not good enough. We are also alike in that we do well for breakfast and lunch, but dinner is a challenge. When I can't eat well I at least try to eat less... I drink milk with my meal or fill up on salad first. None of the 'tricks' work all of the time, but you know what I mean. Keep up your honesty. I think that's going to help you so much on your journey.
ReplyDeleteThanks! What you said really is how I feel...I feel like I have to be perfect at everything...and the fact that I've gained this weight and can't lose it is really messing with me emotionally.
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